This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
