Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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