new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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