yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I just googled if crying burns calories
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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