are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
