Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
