My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
