If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
