just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
3 2 1 whiskey
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
