I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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