drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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