Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
