I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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