you mean i was at the winter classic?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
