i think my tv is drunk
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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