So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
we should paint friendship bongs
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize