their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
