So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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