I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
