I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
COCAINE IS GR8
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
