in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
