No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
