Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
