You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
