worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
