ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
