Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
