Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
