and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
