I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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