I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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