At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
