If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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