hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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