so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
