Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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