if you like me you must not know who I am
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
