I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
