Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
