Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
