how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
