So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
