Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
