you didnt know i had herpes?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
