who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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