You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
