i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Randomize
