Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
