i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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