butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
