the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
