This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Dick very happy bro
i out mim tonsoeep
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