i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
