We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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