Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
