why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
