You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
