Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
