The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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