They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize