Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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