I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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