I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
