maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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