Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
