Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
