He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
